Here are the words I spoke at the rally....I pray they touched the hearts and minds of pro-aborts and those who have had, encourage or support abortion:
I am the mother of Matthew and Sarah, two precious angels and victims of my believing the rhetoric of the pro-choice community.
My first abortion was provided by my OB/GYN. I was not advised of possible emotional or psychological side effects, and the atmosphere was desperately lacking emotion or caring. As I left the office, there was an initial sense of relief I was no longer pregnant, but I needed a few drinks to dull the emptiness in my soul.
My second abortion was when I was twenty-seven. I had decided to keep the baby. When I shared the good news with my parents, they didn’t share my enthusiasm. They convinced me having a child would ruin my career. In fact, many of my friends had the same view. I gave in. This abortion was provided by Planned Parenthood. I chose Planned Parenthood because of my first experience and because they were known as “specialists” in abortion. I expected more compassion and understanding. WRONG Again, I was not advised of the possible side-effects. I was not advised of options other than abortion. The only assurance I received was when they told me it was a “simple” procedure and the line they are best known for…..”It’s just tissue.” No one held my hand or gave me any comfort at all. They treated the procedure more like having a splinter, not a baby removed. I was not given any prescriptions nor was a follow-up scheduled. I was told to call only if there was any unusual bleeding or excessive pain. I left the clinic once again feeling worthless and empty – another opportunity to self-medicate through alcohol – which I used to cover up the shame and remorse for the next thirty plus years.
Not only did my alcohol abuse increase after my abortions, my self-worth plummeted. I drank to numb the pain and sought out attention in negative ways. Ultimately, I convinced a doctor to give me a tubal ligation when I was thirty. I told myself I didn’t want children, but that wasn’t the case. I was punishing myself for the abortions, I felt unworthy of being a mother.
Years of pain followed and I eventually became suicidal. When the psychiatrist asked me why I wanted to die I told him, “I’m already dead inside, I just want to finish the job.” Praise God my treatment for depression as well as alcoholism was successful, but that wasn't all that was needed. It wasn’t until I attended a healing program for post-abortive women that I could face my past, accept the love and mercy of God and ask for and receive forgiveness from my children and myself.
I have to admit, the recently released videos exposing the sale of body parts by Planned Parenthood brought back all the shame and regret I carried for so many years. The images on those videos tore open a gaping wound in my heart, knowing what is being done to those precious babies and wondering if it happened to mine. Instead of reverting to old behaviors to hide the pain, I turn to God and my sisters and brothers in healing. I’m using the pain as more fuel to my fire for life.
Planned Parenthood betrayed women years ago and continues to do so every day by lying about the humanity of our babies, not offering alternatives to abortion and manipulating us into a decision not to help us ….. but profit from our crisis.
The reason we are here is to tell our community the truth about Planned Parenthood. But we are also here to tell those who chose, encourage or support abortion all is not lost. We have a loving and merciful God who loves all of His children. There is redemption, there is healing, there is hope.
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