@TonyHilling "THE HEART OF DARKNESS"

Recently, I listened to a friend preaching on Psalm 121, and his main theme was that David did not compose the Psalms in his old age, but they were written down in his youth as he went through those difficulty years as an outlaw, running from King Saul.

Though we may baulk at the times of hardship, they can also be the most creative periods of our lives. I have had a similar experience over the last while, wrestling with some interior darkness brought on by exterior circumstances. Just short of a year ago, while I was processing these troubles, I happened to be reading the Book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible. Now, let me inform you from the start that Ecclesiastes is inspired by the Holy Spirit. But it can be tough going nonetheless. It begins with, “Vanity of Vanities! All is vanity.” And ends with the statement that God will bring every act to judgment. Indeed, some believers might think that this is not a good idea to read such a sacred writing when one is borderline depressed. However, I found that the book actually consoled me, because it told the truth about life. Ecclesiastes speaks of the problem of evil. It does not sweet talk or side step the issue. Both within ourselves and without, we encounter darkness. Our lives are played out in a minor key. Ecclesiastes helped me to understand life better.

In “The Voice of Aedistamen”, Owa’en is no stranger to the experience of evil. He has seen the horror of the battlefield, experienced the betrayal of false friends, and has endured the terror of the Silver Mines. In Volume 7 as he prepares to return to his own people, he somewhat naively thinks that the good times are upon him. But he finds out that evil has also an honoured place among his own.

Getting back to Ecclesiastes, this Wisdom Book impacted me so much that I wrote a song based on it. The song is a condensed rendering of the message of this book of the Bible and is entitled, “Kyrie”. Those of Anglican or Catholic background might remember the “Kyrie Eleison” (Lord Have Mercy) at the beginning of the Eucharist. This song clearly has penitential overtones, reminiscent of the Gregorian Chant of my youth, and is a cry from the heart for this generation: that they would weigh the sadness and beauty of this life and turn to Jesus who bore all evil and sin on the cross, and rose again as the Victor Eternal.

Tony (Anthony John) Hilling was born in Glasgow, Scotland of Scots/Irish parentage. He has spent time as a lawyer, priest, non-denominational pastor, and most recently as a writer. His first work, "The Voice of Aedistamen", tells the story of an enslaved people in a fantasy world who struggle for freedom. In their quest they rediscover an ancient faith in a forgotten God who calls forth a deliverer from among them. Tony is also working on another fantasy novel, "The Caves of the Kananaskis", and has written a biblical play called, "Imwas". He and his family now make their home in Western Canada.

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