What do you think of the beginning of Larry Peterson's YA Fantasy "The Demons of Abadon"?

PRELUDE

The Darkened were blackened souls filled with hate who had chosen to reject goodness in life. Upon leaving their earthly bodies they moved into a world absent of hope. It was the most dreadful place to be. Scorched and dark, it was steaming hot and never ending. The worst part was, this place was devoid of second chances. This caused the hatred inside the Darkened to burn like a white-hot, unquenchable fire. If only they could have said just once, “I’m sorry, please forgive me.”

They had their chances---so many, many chances. But, before anyone or anything, their choices were always for themselves first. Self-serving pride always trumped humility, from the time they reached the age of reason until they breathed their last.

Once a person’s soul had joined the ranks of the Darkened they were ordered to prowl about the world seeking new recruits. Many potential recruits, already weakened by their own love of self, chose to follow the Darkened’ s incessant nagging and embraced worldliness before all else. Gluttony replaced temperance, sloth conquered diligence, wrath smothered patience, lust ridiculed chastity, and most importantly, pride trounced humility. These were the folks who had pledged their very souls to Satan. In the world of Invidia they were known as the Ergots.

The Ergots were the future Darkened and would graduate to that existence upon their deaths. All they had to do while alive was absorb the hate from the Darkened Spirit assigned to them and then be in the forefront of all that was ungood among the living, spreading the terrible lie that the love of self was virtuous. Their rewards for pledging themselves included an extended healthy life filled with many earthly pleasures. Rarely did anyone seek atonement and ask forgiveness.
Amazingly, Satan and his Darkened despised and hated the Ergots. It did not matter that they were the ones doing their earthly bidding. They were hated and despised because they still had a very slim chance at redemption. That was something even Satan could never have and there was not one thing he could do about it.

The Great Festival of Torment took place every 100 years. On this night the Darkened would join together with the Ergots in a spiritual hate-fest. They would come together from all parts of the world to gather at the gates of Invidia to proclaim the millions of new Darkened who had joined the army of Satan over the past century. The highlight of the “Great Festival” was always “Sacrificium Humani Agnus” (Latin meaning, “Sacrifice of the Human Lamb”). This was an offering to Satan as tribute. Somewhere on the planet there was a young person that had been nurtured and kept pure since birth to be that Lamb. The last Great Festival had been in 1866. It was time for another.

Larry Peterson Sr is an author and Catholic/Christian blogger and has written over 500 blogs. He was born and raised in the Bronx and moved to New Jersey when he got married. Eventually he and his family settled in the Tampa Bay area of Florida. He started writing newspaper commentary in the late 1980’s.

His books include the novel, The Priest and the Peaches” and the children’s book, “Slippery Willie’s Stupid, Ugly Shoes”. He is in the final draft of his latest book, The Demons of Abadon, which is the sequel to The Priest and The Peaches.
Larry’s first wife died of cancer (Melanoma) in 2003. He married again in 2006. His new wife also had been widowed. Ironically, she came down with cancer (Lymphoma) in 2011. In the fall of 2014 she was also diagnosed as having early onset Alzheimer’s Disease. Larry says, “We are both doing fine. Having Faith is a beautiful thing.”
Where can you find Larry?
Website/Blog: http://www.slipperywillie.blogspot.com
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Priest-Peaches-Larry-Peterson
Goodreads: www.goodreads/LarryPeterson.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/slipperywillie
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/larrytpbx