Saturday, October 3, 2015

Realty Reality-Anne Baxter Campbell

Well—today (September 15) we will close on the loan for our new house (knock on wood!), a process that began May 27, the day when I made the first contact to begin the process. The loan officer told me if I wanted the close of escrow to be the end of August I should begin the loan submittals on July 1. It apparently usually takes about two months. July 1 on the nose I sent them an email telling them what I wanted and asking what I should send them.

I thought it would be pretty simple (silly girl) because I thought I could refinance my seaside house that is nearly paid off and is currently rented out. Turns out they didn’t to lend under that circumstance.

So then I contacted another mortgage company, hoping that a different outfit might have different laws. My contact there left on vacation without breathing a word to her new client (me). Goodness—I didn’t forget to take a shower, did I?
So—one more try. By now it’s July 10, and I’m feeling just a teeny frustrated. So this new contact person starts telling me what all they will need to start the process. One ream of paper, nearly! I can’t scan to send that much on my computer! It would be umpty-billion megs, and the internet would definitely crash!

Fortunately, there’s a place I can go to fax it. Unfortunately, their fax machine goes nuts and throws the papers on the floor in a jumbled heap. It only takes an hour or two to sort stuff again.
Soon Milly (not her real name) calls me. Evidently what I sent generated more questions, because now I need to send another stack or two.

So I gather the stuff, tap it straight at the top because the papers aren’t all the same size, and carefully clip it (also at the top). I take it to the place that will fax it, and the not-much-more-than-teenage guy who takes it promptly starts to tap it from the bottom. Shrieking like a madwoman, I grab the stack and tap it this way and that until it again aligns at the top edge, explaining all the while about the different sizes. He nods sagely in understanding—and promptly sticks it into the fax machine feeding from the bottom edge.
The file grows thicker over the next month or so. I get occasional calls and emails for something else, but usually not more than my scanner and internet can handle.
Meanwhile, escrow dates come and go. I’m thinking we may take the prize for the most-often-delayed closing. I’ll have to ask them when we meet at the title company today.

I could give mortgage companies a few hints, speaking from the client side of things. There are basically two questions that need to be answered: Can I make the loan payments; and, Will I pay them?
The first could be answered by looking at my bank statements; the second by looking at my credit history.
And they’d need to know if my income sources are reliable and consistent. W-2s and 1099s should take care of that.
Now, honestly, why do they need the other three reams of stuff?

I have to say, Milly was very patient with my impatience. We even chuckled together over the form they insisted I had to sign that made no sense and wasn’t accurate anyway. But the closing folks insisted they needed it just as it was. Okay, whatever.
I fully expect someone to call before I leave for the closing today saying they need one more thing. By this time, I would even sign a statement saying Meggie Wigglesworth (my little dog) has had her measles, mumps, and cauliflower shots before entering kindergarten.


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