Detectives Incorporated – Volume 1- The Client
“We’re BORED!” said Mildred.
“Bored?” said her husband Ed.
“Yes, the four of us are bored stiff and need to make a change in our lives.”
“Wait a minute here. This is the exact life you asked for, hook line and sinker,” Ed retorted.
“That may be true but none the less it has become very boring and dare I say pedestrian,” Mildred went a bit further.
“What brought this on ladies?” Ed looked around quizzically and posed the question to the other females gathered around his dinner table with a smirk and a wink.
Sherry chimed in first, “It just isn’t the same; there is little to no action here in middle suburbia and we are starting to feel disenfranchised and stiff.”
Maryanne follows Sherry’s comment up quickly, “The same old same old, Ed, ya know.”
Bernice starts to open here mouth and pauses, takes a breath, then lets it out ,“We miss our old life. We want some action.”
“Action?” repeats Jim, Sherry’s husband.
“So they want action now, hmmm,” says Bill looking at Ed.
“A-C-T-I-O-N they want ACTION! That’s the cheer right ladies?” Bob says sarcastically.
“Stifle it Bob, Mr. Girls’ Assistant Soccer Coach” Bernice jabs back.
“Okay,Okay, everybody take a deep breath. Would you be kind enough to expand upon your initial comment now Mildred? Do you have a solution for this BOREDOM and how do we,” Ed gestures at the men seated at the dinner table with his fork, “fit into your grand plan?”
“Very simply,” she says.
“Very simply. Hmmm, two words that mean absolutely nothing put together. Do you have an idea, a seed of an idea maybe at least, or do you have an actionable plan. I am betting on it being number three.”
Mildred’s face has a very sly smile. “We want to be detectives, you know Private Eyes.”
Ed rolls his eyes and looks at the others seated around the table. The women all have broad smiles and are nodding their heads yes. The men are looking down at their plates of pasta, meatballs and sausage shaking their head but in a different way.
“What do you four know about detecting anything? I mean no disrespect dear wife, but cut me some slack, please.”
“That’s where you and the guys come in.”
“Now we come in. How do we come in?”
“We want you guys to take care of things at the office, be the face of the Agency, and be there for us if we run into trouble.”
“Oh, run things at the office. Do I look like an office worker? Do any of us look like office workers? Wait scratch Bob from that; he is the computer geek. He is well, just a geek no matter how you cut it. No offense Bob.” Ed looks over at Bob, gives him the old buddy head nod.
“None taken Ed. I fully acknowledge and embrace my geekiness; you are totally on fleek with that statement.”
Ed’s eyebrows raise just a tick, “Bob do you and I have to have one of those conversations that involve you losing some blood?”
“No,no,no.” Using air quotations Bob continues, “ ‘On Fleek’ means that you are on point, you are correct, that you hit the nail on the head. It is current jargon. I thought we had gone over this.”
“Okay, got it, on fleek”. Sure. Really. Back to the matter at hand ladies: How do you plan to get this Detective Agency off the ground here in middle suburbia? It’s rather quiet and quaint here. You’re right there is no action. It’s pretty boring. But we thought that was the idea. Be boring, blend in, let go of the past.”
Mildred pauses for a brief moment, and then blurts out “We already have a CLIENT! Isn’t that awesome? And a storefront in the middle of town, business cards, and a name that we already incorporated.”
“Wait, wait, wait…you have a store?” Ed’s face begins to get flush, his face turning various shades of red.
“Yes and a client!”